First and formost I am an, active in the battlefield of life Christian Warrior Woman!! No sitting on the fence for me!
1. I am a Mom to 4 children. Each very different from the other. I have adopted two of my children and given birth to two. One of my children I gave birth to was a hospital birth with all the pain meds, epidural, episiotomy and he was wisked away right after birth and I didn't see him for hours. I was alone in the hospital because the nurse wouldn't let anyone stay with me. It was an enlightening experience for me. My daughter was born at home. It was beautiful and wonderful. I listened to Enya while in labor and giving birth. I sat in my hot tub. I walked around my house. I laughed and made others laugh; I cried and made others cry. I held her in my arms right after she was born and put her to the breast to nurse before she was even dried off. No pain meds, no intrusion, no isolation. This experience was also very enlightening.
2. I don't have a favorite color. I like different colors for different things. Colors represent different moods, emotions, and memories to me. Red is envigorating and makes me feel sassy and more outgoing. White is rejuvinating, crisp, and clean. I guess I wear blue mostly; light blue or a lighter color of teal. I'm not fond of orange, yellow, or green for clothing but in nature I find them beautiful.
3. Music keeps me moving and has great meaning to me. I love deep lyrics. When you can feel the singer or writers life or experience coming through the music it is beautiful. I enjoy some songs that have a good beat and rhythm but a lot of times regardless of how much I like the instrumentation if the lyrics are ridiculous or filthy then it ruins the song for me.
4. I love to dance. I feel that everyone can dance. It may not be appealing all that are watching but I think it is therapeutic to move and let your mind melt with the music and just let go. Swing around and be free for a few minutes.
5. I am a horrible house keeper! At work I am very organized and meticulous about my work area but at home you would never know it. I have certain things that I like to be in certain positions such as pictures and my decor. I will constantly staighten and move items to where I originally placed them but I have paperwork and clutter and the laundry.....ahhhhhhh! the laundry is the bain of my existence....it's all everywhere in my house. I contemplate hiring someone to come and help me organize and clean this place up. If my house is clean then I think better and I am in a better mood.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Revisiting Some Old Internal Fire
I have to say that here the past few months have been hard. I started working again after six years of being home. I love my job. (I'm an RN and work in the NICU) I didn't realize that I had holed myself up in my house for the time I was home with my children and became withdrawn and my self-confidence dwindled.
Why in the world would my self-confidence be shot by staying home to take care of my babies? I am the same person I've always been. I know so many times when we were buying a home or doing other financial things I was deemed as "unemployed" even though I stated "No, I am a homemaker!" I didn't reach out to other Moms I just shrank inside myself. I am here now to shout that Motherhood is a worthy cause and should be a boost in self-confidence. We are professional multi-taskers and first-aide providers and counselors and friends and nurturers. We as mother's do amazing things day in and day out, staying up all night to console a crying little one or a crying older one. Teenagers definately have their moments also.
Artsy Mamas has given me an opportunity to come alive and a realization that I am myself still. My self-confidence is still here and I am still fierce and smart and fiesty and full of creativity. I can talk to corporate executives and I can talk to my friends. I am a worthy person and always have been. When we are blessed and have gifts we should share with others. I feel my cup is running over right now and I want to reach out and share.
I paint, I dance, I write, I am intellectual and analytical, I am helper, giver and lover,
Why in the world would my self-confidence be shot by staying home to take care of my babies? I am the same person I've always been. I know so many times when we were buying a home or doing other financial things I was deemed as "unemployed" even though I stated "No, I am a homemaker!" I didn't reach out to other Moms I just shrank inside myself. I am here now to shout that Motherhood is a worthy cause and should be a boost in self-confidence. We are professional multi-taskers and first-aide providers and counselors and friends and nurturers. We as mother's do amazing things day in and day out, staying up all night to console a crying little one or a crying older one. Teenagers definately have their moments also.
Artsy Mamas has given me an opportunity to come alive and a realization that I am myself still. My self-confidence is still here and I am still fierce and smart and fiesty and full of creativity. I can talk to corporate executives and I can talk to my friends. I am a worthy person and always have been. When we are blessed and have gifts we should share with others. I feel my cup is running over right now and I want to reach out and share.
I paint, I dance, I write, I am intellectual and analytical, I am helper, giver and lover,
Friday, June 6, 2008
Getting my Wings
It's such a beautiful thing that my oldest daughter and I share. I mental link of some sort. She was away at a boarding school and I was struggling with bringing her home early or not. I prayed continuously and God gave me an answer, "Bring her home and help her to fly." I didn't quite understand it but I paid attention. That same week my daughter sent me a letter and she stated, "Mom, I want to fly." I knew at that moment it was time to bring her home. We immediately went and picker her up and brought her home. All was going very well and she was doing great. The past few months she began to get quiet and not talk to me like we used to. I was worried about her but probably didn't express it enough to her. I just let her have her space and thought that was what she wanted.
I went to an event and a wonderful woman and I were talking. I told her all about my daughter and she gave me a box. She told me she had purchased this item not really knowing who it was for at the time but that she now knew that it was for my daughter. I opened the box and it was a beautiful and delicate pin. It was a set of wings made of white feathers with little beads and other tiny treasures in the middle. She told me the artist that made it had titled it, "Angel's Backpack." How perfect, wings for my little bird.
The next day I approached my daughter with the box in hand. I told her that God had given me a message and a gift for her. I explained that I wasn't sure what was going on in her life right now and that I was given the box to give to her by someone I had just met. She opened the box and was amazed at the wings, so delicate and such a powerful unspoken message. I looked at her and told he that if she had lost her vision of where she needed to be that God wanted her to have this "Angel's Backpack." (Thanks to Michelle aka Wicked Moxie for creating it and to Jill for her insight and gift) I asked her if where she was headed was going to help her to fly and if she needed me to let me know.
Thank you to all the wonderful people who have touched our lives so deeply. I read a sign at work the other day that said my job was likened to teaching baby birds to sing. I think I also help them to be brave enough to try out their wings. I think often of the saying, "If you love something, set it free!" I have let her fly, I hurt inside but I know deep in my heart that she had such a wound that needed filling. Only my daughter knew what she needed to heal her wound. I just pray that we have given her enough tools to fly solo. May God hold my bird in the air as she has decided it was her time to take flight although I was not ready.
I went to an event and a wonderful woman and I were talking. I told her all about my daughter and she gave me a box. She told me she had purchased this item not really knowing who it was for at the time but that she now knew that it was for my daughter. I opened the box and it was a beautiful and delicate pin. It was a set of wings made of white feathers with little beads and other tiny treasures in the middle. She told me the artist that made it had titled it, "Angel's Backpack." How perfect, wings for my little bird.
The next day I approached my daughter with the box in hand. I told her that God had given me a message and a gift for her. I explained that I wasn't sure what was going on in her life right now and that I was given the box to give to her by someone I had just met. She opened the box and was amazed at the wings, so delicate and such a powerful unspoken message. I looked at her and told he that if she had lost her vision of where she needed to be that God wanted her to have this "Angel's Backpack." (Thanks to Michelle aka Wicked Moxie for creating it and to Jill for her insight and gift) I asked her if where she was headed was going to help her to fly and if she needed me to let me know.
Thank you to all the wonderful people who have touched our lives so deeply. I read a sign at work the other day that said my job was likened to teaching baby birds to sing. I think I also help them to be brave enough to try out their wings. I think often of the saying, "If you love something, set it free!" I have let her fly, I hurt inside but I know deep in my heart that she had such a wound that needed filling. Only my daughter knew what she needed to heal her wound. I just pray that we have given her enough tools to fly solo. May God hold my bird in the air as she has decided it was her time to take flight although I was not ready.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
